Cy's corner

ok, teavana. clearly you need a lesson on what Maté really is.

sapphirefiber:

mixiekins:

the fuck is this

the fuck is that

this is not Maté

“My Morning Mate”?

more like

“My Morning Shut The Fuck Up You Dont Even Mention Gourds Or Bombillas In The Instructions Of How To Prepare Your Shitty Excuse For Maté.”

what the fuck is all this

these fucking nuts and fruits and shit

you wanna see Maté?

you see this? this is mate.

this is how you drink mate.

you wanna get all fancy and strain that shit out like your diluted clear and pink bullshit up there? fine.

you see that? that’s dark green. hell, let it steep long enough for a full body and you’ll get damn near black. hell, there are reports that mate was used to make natural black dye to use as ink.

this is the good shit

you see this? get this. this is real mate. this is the good shit.

if your mate don’t look like this

then don’t drink that shit.

OK????

ok.

i’m glad we had this discussion.

teavana, you are dead to me.

take your fucking jasmine dragon pearls and shove em.

*slow clap*

And here I thought my silent ire over the cheap-ass mate tea bags I saw in the store the other day was the only mate drama I would have this week.

They really should sell it as something almost, but not quite, entirely unlike mate.